Reasons

Because I was tired from a long day

Because your dad died

Because I had only just discovered my grandmother was dying

Because the energy from yet another one of his emails was too much

Because fluctuations in hormones are a thing

(Google it)

Because absence may not always make the heart grow fonder

Because finding someone as available as you was 

terrifying 

in all the subconscious ways

Because maybe you were so used to being mistreated
that I scared you too with my
emotional softness

Because swipe culture

Because us both being empaths meant we absorbed each others efforts 

to be ok when 

maybe we weren't

Because the dancing didn't move our souls

Because maybe you never fully outgrew the schoolboy belief that
chemistry is about big reactions
instead of noticing 

the slow, subtle changes of molecules dancing and bonding to form 

something new

Because maybe we opened up too quickly and devoured too readily 

that not much else was left 

to be discovered

Because I felt it as soon as I tried to hold you close

Because I knew immediately after our lips met for the last time 

that it was the last time...

Still...

I'll never fully understand why...