The 90% Crap rule and The Little Hater

Ever had that experience of sitting in front of a blank page, waiting for something brilliant to happen? Or staring at an instrument (that you know how to play) and waiting for the right inspiration to come so that you can compose some incredibly amazing piece of music? Ever decide to start watching old episodes of Seinfeld or Family Guy on Hulu because you're tired of staring at a blank Word document with that little cursor incessantly blinking? Welcome to the world of creativity. This is the part that no one likes to talk about, but everyone who has ever been a creative person, or has strived to be one, has experienced these moments. Another thing creative people experience is realizing that what they have just created is total and utter crap. Or at least, it can feel that way in the moment. Even worse is when you feel like you've just created something that's so awesome (new poem, new song, new story, picture, sculpture...you get the idea), and then you go back to it in a few weeks, months, even years, and realize that it is utter crap. No redemption whatsoever. Total, and utter crap. And you begin to wonder what on earth possessed you to think it was so good in the first place.

It's amazing that anyone has stayed with any kind of creative endeavor considering this kind of thing, as well as the aforementioned instance, happens about 90% of the time. You heard me. 90%. Ok, that may not be an exact statistic, but it's pretty darn close. (Full disclosure: I have a spiritual director who is also a very creative person and she was the one who passed this little statistic on to me.) As artists, writers, and creators, one of the hardest things for most of us to do, besides beginning to create something, is revising. And sometimes, just the idea of revision is what can get us scared and put off creating something in the first place. It's a lovely vicious cycle. Say hello to "The Little Hater." (Watch this video blog from Jay Smooth about this very subject: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TpmJgSfZ_8)

"The Little Hater" can be different for everyone, but it basically works like this: it gets you to doubt yourself and your own abilities. For me, it says things along the lines of "Who do you think you are to say something like this?" Or "Who do you think is going to read this shit?" Or "You know that whatever's in your head now won't look or sound as good as when you put it down on paper, right?" For the latter, I think this is true for every creative person that has ever lived. Even Pulitzer Prize winning authors have said that their novels never turn out how they had originally planned them. They were never as good as they had initially conceived them. Along the same lines, someone once told me the story of going over to a friend's house where their friend's son happened to be having a major tantrum. When they asked why the little boy was so upset, the mom replied, "Oh, he's been trying to draw something that's in his head and it won't come out the way he wants it to." Mind you, the little boy was four at the time. He later grew up to be an architect. But you see what I mean? We all go through it, even the best of us!

I've just started this blog, and while I'm excited about it now and have a whole bunch of ideas for what I want to post, I know that 1) not everything I post will be brilliant or note worthy or even worth reading (i.e. the 90% crap rule), and 2) that at some point, that Little Hater will start creeping in, and will continue to make guest appearances from time to time, letting me know that what I post is of no consequence to anyone. Especially right now when I don't have any followers (yet). But I am writing this entry as much for myself as for all of you creative people out there, who may be reading this right now. So what if 90% of what you create is total crap?! It just makes you appreciate that 10% of brilliance and genius even more! Revising is a good thing! It just goes to show that what you already created was worth creating in the first place! And as for that Little Hater...tell him to fuck off.

Until next time...